Sorry kids. Comment this post if you want me to add you.

Found these while fucking around today. They're amazing. Linking them here cuz I know some people that might like them.

Ofdensen 1
Ofdensen 2

If anyone knows where I can find more by this artist (the tag on his tumblr only has 4 by Kosmikophobia and a google search didn't yield much) let me know plzkthx.

Side note: I do have a tumblr (kenezbian's the name) but I don't post much, just reblog what I find interesting. I mostly use it to follow a handful of other tumblrs.

I got excused from jury duty YAAAAY! Which means I get to talk about the case YAAAAY!

The case was The State of MN vs a black man whose name escapes me. He was accused of First Degree Sexual Assault,  something for physical assault, and something for burglary. Yikes.

Even more yikes: they need jurors for 3 weeks starting June 4th. Meaning that even though my jury duty was this month, I would've had to serve clear to the end of June. And I would've had to go in next week as well for further questioning if I hadn't been dismissed.

The questionnaire I filled out had all sorts of questions about race and if I was prejudiced. It was nasty. It was gonna get nastier. And frankly, I'm not sorry that I had to get out of it for my kids cuz it really would've bothered me a lot.

And just to fill this out so I didn't waste your time, here's a couple recent manicures:
Nails Inc Whitehall Teal magnetic polish
Hello Kitty tattoo nails - while I like tattoo nails, they don't last worth a shit. Got 3 days out of this manicure. My Avengers one a while back only lasted 4. =/
Today's manicure, tulips

And that should be it.

Me, my mom, my sister, and Alex went to England to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousin before they moved back to the States. The entire flight, I was telling Alex about my prior trip to England and he was so excited to be there with me.

Now, for some reason, what I explained to Alex was definitely NOT what happened last time I went. What I really did: hung out with my family cuz I was 14 and couldn't do shit by myself. It was fun, but it's not what I told Alex I did, which was go to a fucking house party and get drunk and make friends with a cute British boy. Oh, and I wasn't 14 when I did it, I was closer to 17.

But now I'm 25 and we're going again and we land and we get picked up by one of my aunt's friends cuz something came up, and then we went to my aunt's house visited with everyone and I showed Alex around and then my cute British friend called. He was having another house party and wanted me to bring Alex.

We went to the house party and it was a blast. The cute British boy looked like a blonde version of Charlieissocoollike but without the mole. He didn't sound as annoying as Charlie though, he sounded more like Necroscope86, all deep-voiced and sexy. And me and Alex got really drunk and he was flirting with some cute girl and I was sitting by my cute friend and he was asking me about all sorts of shit that hadn't mattered in years - apparently when I was there the first time I'd been having some drama with a boy I liked, Robby (which is legit, I did have some drama with Robby, but this was 2-ish years AFTER I went to England so that's why I know how old I was) and he wanted to know what happened.

I told him the whole story (which is just high school drama not worth repeating) and we laughed heartily and then I snuggled in his lap and he's like, "So, where are you staying tonight?" and I said, "It depends." "Depends on what?" he slurred. "Depends on what you're making for breakfast."

He just stared at me and laughed and said "Kenz, your husband is RIGHT OVER THERE," and he turned to look and Alex was totally making out with the cute girl and I started cackling cuz my cute boy's face was priceless. Then he looked at me and blinked and then we started making out and my alarm clock went off.

Apparently Alex and I are swinging floozies when we're drunk. And wtf kinda pickup line was that?! Like the female version of "How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?" or some shit. Ugh, if this is what I dream about then I'm not surprised I didn't have more boyfriends. I am a DWEEB.

And why this made-up British boy? He was cute, yeah, but he wasn't what I'd consider gorgeous. He wasn't even my type, being all blonde and shit. I'm a sucker for brunets with brown eyes. Alex is an anachronism. So I dunno.

Stupid brain.

Had jury selection this morning. Turns out it was different than last time - this case is gonna take 3 weeks so the attorneys are gonna spend 3 days sorting through the forms we filled out and on Friday we have to call in to see who has to go in on Tuesday.

I knew I wasn't going to be available so I asked the bailiff and this other person, a court manager or something, what I had to do. Both said to go to the county clerk desk and ask for a form. I briefly explained what was going on (family only has 1 vehicle, special needs kid, husband working nights) and they both said it sounded like they wouldn't call me. Phew!

Asked for the form, filled it out, and handed it back. The clerk lady looked it over and said "...you didn't list the days you'd be available." That's cuz I am not available. "You're here now." Cuz I lucked out that my husband had last night off. I won't be so lucky next week. "But you're a homemaker."

I just stared.

JUST A HOMEMAKER. Yeah, I sit on my ass all day eating chocolates while my kids are at school and I have PLENTY of time to come in for jury duty. HOW ABOUT FUCK YOUR FACE.

I politely asked if there was anything else she needed and she said no so I walked away. Cunt.

You know what I did today? I was up at 8. Mondays are usually my sleep-in days but not today. I had to be at the courthouse by 9:30. And I was there til noon doing jury duty shit and then getting a copy of Roxie's birth certificate while I was there.

I went home, slammed a pop tart, filled out an application for this Youth Special Olympics program for Holden and e-mailed it in, got it back saying I missed a segment, fixed it, and resent it.

At 2PM all 4 of us left the house and stopped at the landlady's office. She needed a copy of Roxie's birth certificate and social security card for our lease and I needed a new copy of the lease renewal form since the one I had was half-filled out when Alex got his new job so it was suddenly wrong.

From there we went to the school and had a 90-minute IEP meeting for Holden. That was all very good news, all of us are on the exact same page regarding Holden's schooling. Next year he's going to kindergarten again but we're just gonna launch him into full days and not try to work up to them. With Holden, it's easier to start with what we want and scale back than it is to start with less and add as we go. It was neat to see that all of us - the speech therapist, the special education teacher, his main kindergarten teacher, his PSA, and even the principal - were all thinking the EXACT same thing. It was a very positive experience this time and I'm glad. He's come such a long way and I'm proud of him.

Then to Wal-Mart for some groceries and other miscellaneous items; Roxie needed a summer hat, I found some Hello Kitty tattoos to use for nail designs, that kinda crap. Came home, made dinner, and then we all relaxed the rest of the night.

I might be a homemaker, but I certainly don't just sit on my ass all fucking day. Yes, today was extra busy, but even on days when we have nothing outside of the house, we have piles of laundry and other chores. I can't just skip on down to the courthouse anytime you need me. Idiot.

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Been feeling the writing bug again. I prefer to write my own stories but I have been known to write fanfic. I have posted some on the internet but it was ages ago and it was awful so I won't link to it.

I think I might wanna try my hand at some Dethklok fanfic but I'm not sure where I would start. I do really enjoy reading the NC-17 stuff but I don't think I could write it. And since my OTP varies by the day I don't wanna start writing something I really like but then end up hating later.

I've had an idea for a long time about Skwisgaar and Toki speaking in Norwegian/Swedish to each other, I haven't really read anything where that's been done and I think I could do it. I can't decide when it should take place in the series though. And the couple of times I sat down and kinda scribbled in my notebook (I like to write by hand) the canon ended up changing and while it doesn't bother me when other people's fics aren't perfectly canon I know it would bug the shit out of me. Like I had a whole theory about Toki and Skwisgaar meeting as runaway teenagers but then the season 3 premiere happened and we know that's not true and UUUUUUGH

Maybe I'll just keep sitting on it.

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Speaking of Toki, he's a sneaky shit. I rewatched Diversityklok and holy jeezus he's devious. Remind me never to get on his bad side. Still haven't watched Prankklok or Motherklok yet though, need to get on that.

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Did I mention I was in 2 of gerbilfluff's comics? Cuz I was, here and here. =3

No joke, I have always wanted to be in a webcomic. Years and years ago, I stumbled upon Boy Meets Boy and fell in love. Sandra linked to a lot of other comics, and those comics linked to other comics, and I got linked to comics by friends, and so by my senior year of high school I was following a lot of them. And what I always admired was the way the artists drew themselves or their friends. And I was always curious about what I would look like in their universe.

I still read webcomics but not nearly as much as I used to. A lot of the ones I used to read have ended (either the stories were complete or the artist gave up) and while I have found a few new ones, it's just not what it used to be. But that love for self-portraits and curiosity about myself have never waned.

And even though all I am in those two comics is a squiggly blob with a squiggly blob baby, I cannot express the amount of happy I have. Who knew all I had to do was run into a gerbil in a mask at a Dethklok concert? 8B

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My friend Tristan and I came to the conclusion that I need to have a scandalous affair with Robert Downey Jr.

I got picked for jury duty.

I know the process varies state to state, but in MN it's pretty laid back: they send the letter, you fill out a form and mail it back, then the night before your month of duty you call a number and a pre-recorded message tells you what group numbers need to go in (if any) and when to call again. If your group number gets called, you have to go to the courthouse for jury selection. There's about 30 people in a group, and 13 of them randomly get chosen. Then the judge conducts a little interview to see if you have any conflicts (appointments, daycare, knowing anyone involved in the case) and if you don't, you get to serve on the jury for a case! Then you hear the case, the extra juror gets sent home, and you deliberate, etc.

I know this because I served on a jury in 2007 when Holden was about 8mos old. In MN, you can serve every 4 years.

The case last time was just stupid: some drunk idiot was staying at a friend's and used her car to go to the gas station and hit a telephone pole. She charged him with stealing the car because he refused to pay for the damage. It was just a bunch of bullshit personal drama that we got dragged into. Idiots.

Interesting postscript to that story: when we went out drinking for my bachelorette 18mos later, the guy was at the bar. My drunk ass recognized him but couldn't place his face and I figured I'd just go chat him up. I made a complete ass of myself and 3 days later when I finally figured it out, I felt awful. I found this guy guilty of a DWI and then I hit on him shamelessly. He probably recognized me too. Ugh.

Anyway, at the end of March I got the letter saying I got picked again. "Don't worry, you only got picked cuz you got married and moved to a new district, the chances of them picking your group number are very small."

NOPE. Turns out that Hibbing is small enough that there's only 1 group for the whole month. I got the call Wednesday, we have to report in on Monday morning. The odds are ever in my favor. Or not in my favor, depending how you look at it.

I know what you're thinking. "Why are you mad? Alex isn't working, you need the money, you should hope you get picked to serve again." And normally you'd be right.

Except the odds were finally in Alex's favor and he started his new job Tuesday night, the night before I got the call. He's driving the delivery truck for a local bakery from 2AM to 10AM. I lucked out in that he doesn't work Sunday night so I can go to selection on Monday morning, but I can't serve on the jury because he works the rest of the week and reporting time for a juror is 8AM. If I get selected I know I'll be dismissed during the interview process because I'm the primary caregiver for a special needs child but jeez, this is a pain in the ass. They couldn't call me last week? Ugh!

And the bonus? Holden's IEP meeting that has been scheduled for 6 weeks is on Monday at 2:30. Selection only takes about 2 hours and I report at 9:30 so it's not so bad, but now I'm gonna have an extra busy day and Alex has to work that night so he's not gonna get much sleep. Splech.

I did get the quiet time I wanted for Mother's Day. It was really nice, it helped my mood a lot.

Recent nails: China Glaze Foie Gras with some gold dots, vintage roses and Roxie's first manicure for Mother's Day, Butter London Knackered with some decals (this picture does not do the polish justice, it's got holographic glitter and green/purple duochrome), OPI Care to Danse? with Pirouette My Whistle, both from the NYC Ballet collection mini-pack I bought. I think I might use my teal magnetic polish next. Or CutePolish's tulips. Or her peacock nails. Or the peacock nails on the magnetic polish. I dunno.

And on a final note, I got linked to Project Free TV by a friend. I think I'm gonna share this over on CLDK because it has the new Metalocalypse episodes on it, but I haven't had the chance to check it out very much yet and I don't wanna link a ton of people to a shitty website.

Alex went up to the cabin with his family today because they're working on the dock. He won't be home til tomorrow at dinnertime at the earliest. And the kids are NOT PLEASED.

Alex left at 3. He was gone about an hour before Holden started getting antsy. I managed to keep him fairly occupied with some singing and movies, but then the meltdown started. And it was one of those slow-burning meltdowns that started with some self-stim (biting his hands) and whining, but then built and built until two hours later he was fully yelling at me. I put him in his room since there was no consoling him, and he whined himself to sleep. I didn't mind, he had school and the PCA today so I figured he might nap but then wake up in a better mood.

Meanwhile, Roxie was pretty much her normal happy self, she's been copying Holden a lot lately so once he started yelling she started in on it too, but it was out of "I wanna be like Holdy!" and not "I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR NOT HAVING A PENIS."

Once Holden nodded off I was able to feed her dinner and get her down for a late nap (she was too busy yelling with Holden to take one at her normal time). With both kids down at 6PM, I had a snack and lied down on the couch and took a nap as well, figuring that the kids would be up past bedtime with the late naps anyway and I should get some rest too.

We all woke up at 8:30 and I made a pizza for dinner. Holden ate quite a bit and his mood was much improved - until we did the bedtime routine. We didn't even make it through the teeth brushing before ANOTHER meltdown started. He wouldn't finish the bedtime routine, he barely took his melatonin (and it didn't help anyway), wouldn't do anything except cry and shout in my face. I finally got him to relax in his room with his portable dvd player.

But then the minute he was okay, Roxie started fussing. She needed to be changed. So I changed her, made a bottle, and tried to put her to bed. And she wasn't having it. Daddy usually does bedtime for her. She eventually gave up and passed out, but man, she fought for an hour.

After tucking her in I figured alright, Holden's not asleep but he's being good, I can sneak in a few rows of this never ending purple baby blanket (been working on it since Christmas, no joke, we've been that busy) and watch some YouTube videos. NOPE. Holden's dvd player died. The stupid thing won't charge the battery if it's on and Holden won't leave it plugged in so I have to put it in our bedroom.

Whining, screaming, biting himself, trying to bite/hit ME, throwing things, pounding, stomping, the works. I have not seen a meltdown so bad or last so long in months.

This went on for a long time. I thought of trying to have Alex call but the weather isn't that great and since they're way out in the boonies they barely have reception as it is, plus he texted me at 11 saying he was going to bed (which is when I tried brushing Holden's teeth, at this point it was 1-ish? I lost track). I checked to see if the dvd player had charged and the battery was about half-full. Good enough, it'd be something. I figured he couldn't possibly have that much energy left.

I tucked him in again. Gave him his movie. Said goodnight about a million times. Turned off the light. Shut the door. And he partied in there until his damn player died AGAIN.

And then the meltdown started again. And in order to get him to even consider snuggling on the couch, I had to turn off every light in the house, turn off the TV, and turn off the videos I was watching on YouTube. And he sat here and bitched at me until he finally dozed off. AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

So now it's 4:30 and I'm fighting tears. In the last few months, I've started asserting myself a little more and have been going places without Alex. But ever since Roxie was born and he stopped working at Wal-Mart, I don't get a lot of alone time in the house. I figured with Alex going out of town tonight, I could get the kids to bed early, have myself a White Russian, watch a movie, get some knitting done, and just be myself for a little while. Alex and I had time to work on "us" in Duluth last weekend, now we were gonna get some time to work on ourselves individually, him with his dad and bro and uncles while doing guy stuff, and me by myself on the laptop.

Except with Roxie going to bed at a "decent" (compared to Holden) hour I have to pretty much go to bed RIGHT FUCKING NOW in order to be able to get up with her in the morning. No drinks. No videos. I knit one row on that damn blanket.

And I'm extra upset cuz I know what's gonna happen tomorrow. Alex is gonna come home and tell me what an amazing time he had with his family and I'm going to get upset because what should have been an amazing time alone for myself ended up being total fucking bullshit. And then he's going to get upset and try to call me out on being a bitch and guilt-tripping him for having fun when the truth is I was glad he went up there. HOLDEN is the one that hates him leaving, and HOLDEN is the one that tried to physically BEAT ME UP for it and THAT is what I'm upset about. And I don't want to fight with him but it's like he's too STUPID to understand that I AM UPSET WITH/AT HOLDEN AND NOT HIM.

The extra bonus is that when I leave, both kids are angels. It's like they don't even miss me. Oh they miss ALEX. But not me.

Another shitty thing is that this weekend was gonna be the second Chickam hatch. She did two hatches this year because the first hatch didn't turn out so well due to a number of factors (recent move to a higher altitude, mailman dropping the shipped eggs, etc). I figured omg, Alex will be out of town so I can have the laptop all to myself to watch the hatch!

Turns out the things Velvet changed were the wrong things, and as of this writing she has 1 healthy chick, 1 successfully hatched chick with an open abdomen that won't make it, and 1 chick that pipped through the shell but then died. And I missed both successful hatchings.

Today sucked. A lot. Only positive thing I've really got is I picked up this Wet n Wild eyeshadow palette that I'm excited to try. (I got the white/blue/purple one called Feeling Retro). I don't wear makeup very often and when I do I usually stick to pinks and browns cuz that's what looks good with my skintone and I have glasses anyway so you can't really see what's going on under there anyway. But this one caught my eye and I figured eh, even if I don't end up wearing it like this (she applied them using a brush dampened with water so the colors would be super bright) I can use the colors separately depending on my outfit. It was 2 dollars. *shrug*

I just decided right now that for Mother's Day I want Alex to take the kids out of the house all day. I don't care where they go or what they do but I need time by myself alone in my house to do the things I wanna do at my own leisure. I don't need a card or a present. I need quiet.

With this whole nail art thing comes nail polish. And you'd be surprised at how many stories can come out of a simple thing like nail polish. I tend to pick polishes with weird histories. It's so weird how something that attracts me ends up having a weird history once I google it.


( Click here for me being a dweeb )

Had an amazing weekend in Duluth. My legs hurt and I was hungover for two days. I needed that so bad.

We were gonna go out Friday but the bar we were going to had some benefit so we went out Saturday instead. And danced. And drank. We went shopping and got new shoes. I went to Ulta and got nail polish. =D

Today I spent the day on the computer getting some shit done and decided to do some catching up on CLDK. Specifically, zsomeone's art. Hell, after getting, what, half a dozen on the damn *show* I owe it to her to at least look at it unblurred.

Gurl, I <3 your stuff so hard.

And then I started reading fanfic again and damn, it feels good. I have lots of forms of stress-relief (knitting, nail art, watching YouTube) but nothing feels quite as good as fanfic. And not just Dethklok either - there's lots of good stuff in all my fandoms and I'm glad to be reading it again.

As for nail art, I did a bunch for Hibbing's prom, then my own for the trip to Duluth, and then in Duluth I got a whole bunch of new stuff. I have a few more arts planned but I'm gonna take a little break cuz I had to cut my nails off. The gel manicure I did for the weekend looked fabulous but you have to soak off the gel polish with acetone and my nails hate acetone and got dry and cracked.

You can see all the pics on my twitpic, as per usual. Or my facebook if you have me on there but I know some of you don't.

And how good was the new episode of Metalocalypse? So good. I miss the half-hour format cuz 15min seems so short but I know it's better for the show. But now I'm curious of how much uncensored stuff is gonna end up on the dvd. Will they unblur the fanart?

Side note: should I make a post on CLDK about linking all the fanarts in one place? I think it's a good idea both for us members who don't remember who all the artists are and people looking for the uncensored arts in general. I know not all of them are from CLDK but a good chunk of them are.